Who Am I As A Communicator

This week we were asked to have two people assess our communication skills so that we may perceive things in a different light.  I asked my husband of 9 years and my coworker of 5 years to help me with this week’s assignment. 

Looking at the results I found that I am a people oriented person.  I value people’s opinions and input.  I am also very empathetic and show concern for other people’s emotions. 

I also scored at the moderate level in verbal aggressiveness.  I was taken back by this outcome because I think I am more assertive and not aggressive.  I feel that the two can be confusing. 

What really made me think were the different results in communication anxiety.  I do not like public speaking and I shy away at any possibility of it.  However, when I feel comfortable in the group or have knowledge on the subject at hand I tend to speak up a lot more.  My husband and coworker scored me better than what I did myself.  In their eyes I am better at public speaking than I thought. 

I know these skills will help me in communicating with friends, family, colleagues, and students.  I tend to speak more when I am comfortable and I am quiet when around people I don't know.  I have some things I need to work on in order to become a competent communicator.  The best way to get there is through patience, preparing, practice, and being positive!

Communication

When communicating with people from different groups and cultures I find myself speaking to these groups according to their identities.  These groups can range from children, elderly, colleagues, families, friends, and such.

As an early childhood professional I keep in mind the codes and ethics that surround our profession.  When speaking to parents I establish a common ground and let them know we are working together to meet the needs of their child.  The parents I work with know that I am very friendly and accepting as well as the fact that my door is always open to communicate with me about anything.  When working with my students I always get to their level and communicate with them by actively listening as well as actively speaking.  I keep their interests in mind and even watch a few of their shows to keep our conversations flowing. 

When I communicate with friends and family I am more relaxed and not as critical of my actions.  These people know me and if feel more open when I am surrounded by them.  I am more relaxed and at ease. 

There are three strategies I will start using to help me communicate more effectively with people.

·         Being aware of and learning about cultural differences.  Changing my worldview and being mindful of my nonverbal behavior.

·         Implementing the Platinum Rule.  Considering the thoughts and feelings of others as well as my actions.

·         Actively listen and actively speak.  Using nonverbal cues to communicate my understanding, questioning when in need of information or clarification, and uncover my own biases.

 

Television show - NBC's Camp

 

 

For this week's assignment I watched an episode of NBC's Camp with the volume off.  My assignment this week is to observe the characters' relationships based on the way they were communicating as well as feeling they are expressing based on the nonverbal behavior I observed.  The opening scene is at a camp were you see many campers on sail boats, floats, biking, diving, and having a good time shown by their smiling faces and laughing.  I first observed what seemed to be a father-son relationship.  They are sitting in the car having a discussion.  I have the speakers off and it looks like the son is not wanting to be at camp.  To start things off he has a hooded sweater on with his hood over his head with his body crouched into his seat.  The son looks very displeased by his facial expressions.  He is rolling his eyes, making a pouty face, looks like he is taking deep breaths while his dad is speaking, and is using very aggressive hand gestures.  His father seems to be trying to convince his son to stay at camp.  He is actively listening, making eye contact, and is not interrupting his son. 

 

The scene changes and in comes a blue convertible with what seems to be a girl and her older sister with a possible boyfriend.  I say this because it seems like the couple is eager to leave and doesn't embrace the girl as they quickly leave.  They give her the bags and drive off.   The scene then returns to the father and son where they are embracing each other with a hug and saying good bye.

 

As the father drives off the boy is left standing in the middle of camp looking around and seems to be uncomfortable and confused by his facial expressions and posture.  The boy and girl lock eyes and smile at each other as she walks away.  He stares and smiles back when suddenly he gets hooked in the mouth by a fishing pole.  He is clearly in pain with his eyes and mouth open wide and his hand over the hook.  He seems to be yelling in pain and the surrounding campers come to his aide.   

 

Now I watched the same scene but this time it was with the volume on to see if my assumptions were correct.  My assumption was correct about the father-son relationship.  The father is telling his son that he is going to love being outdoors and making some money.  His dad wants him to spend more time outdoors and away from being a hermit crab with his technology.  His son is not happy with his decision and would rather be home watching television marathons.  He adds that he doesn't want to change and that he is not happy. 

 

What I thought was sibling relationship was incorrect.  It is a mother-daughter relationship.  Her mother tells her to have fun and to call us if she needs us.  She leaves with saying love you baby as her boyfriend speeds off. 

 

The nonverbal cues displayed were pretty easy to distinguish but the relationships were harder to recognize.  Communicating is so much more than two people speaking words to each other.  Nonverbal communication also plays a huge part in the communicating process.  People's attitudes and behaviors add emotion to communication and allows people to share what they truly feel.  We must pay more attention to the nonverbal cues we send others so we can effectively communicate with one another so we can become competent communicators.   

 

References: 

 

Camp, Heldens & Elkoff.  (2012).  Pilot.  Kate Woods, (Director), Liz Heldens, Peter Elkoff, Gail Berman, Lloyd Braun, Eugene Stein, (Producers) NBC

 





Competent Communicator

When I think of competent communicators the first person I think of is my husband Chris.  I consider him to be an effective communicator as well as a social butterfly.  When he speaks to people he is actively listening as well as actively speaking.  He always looks you in the eye and will respond to understanding with verbal and nonverbal cues.  When he speaks the room listens.  He always asks questions for understanding and will express his thoughts and feelings without hurting anyone around him.  He watches his language and makes you feel valued.  He always empathizes and is humble.  The thing that sticks out the most is his use of "I" statements.  When he uses these statements he takes responsibility for how he feels and what he wants.  I have gained so much from our relationship and it is all because of him.

 

We have the tools to become effective communicators! What we need is to overcome fears to advocate for the children and families we work for.  Communication is key and we need it to better ourselves, our children, and our future!